Archive for July 20th, 2011

I never realized until…

I never understand before why my sister is so nosy when I could not get home early from school. I always thought they just don’t trust me. And I can’t help to be so disappointed whenever they would ask me over and over and over, why I came home so late. And whenever we had an annual field trip for scholars, my sister would always tell me if I was just want to attend because I just wanna be free from home, or is it really not a compulsory and I just don’t want to obey her. That really makes me so mad at them, and I always ask why can’t they just trust me or support me with my scholarship requirements and all, I was not sneaking out, attending field trips and retreats are required for all working scholars.

Anyway, I never realized their worries until I have my own kid attending school. The other week, my daughter told me that will be having a meeting regarding with donations for the flood victims, so I did not worry if ever she went home after 5:00 p.m., I was just sitting here and doing my task online, when suddenly my sister asks me and told me the time and yet Mj is not home. It was almost 6:00 p.m. so I called the school but they told me that the graders have been at the carpool since 4:00 pm, the meeting was cancelled during that day. And Mj should be home by now, I called all the sources I have on my phone list only to find out that their carpool had an engine issue along the way, they need to stop, other kids were already fetch by their families. Good thing that my brother-in-law offered me some help, since he has a motorcycle; he was the one who fetch Mj from the highway and sent her here.

The worries I felt that day was incomparable, I mean yeah she is just a kid yet and she will not go to the mall to window shop, she doesn’t even know how to go there. But knowing the harm she could get while she is still there inside her carpool, we better be cautious and we should be extra careful.

A Lonely Wall

I think I need to add something up in my wall, the only frame that I got there is our wedding frame. And to be honest the wall looks so lonely so I guess I have to buy a wall tapestry for it to look impressive and beautiful. I have no talent to choose for a design but I think with the help of my friends here, I will be doing just great especially if we would buy our own house. One of the things that stopping me to look this home stunning is because we are just renting it, I mean it would be the best if you are reconstructing or renovating your own home, you will be more inspire but with our status right as of this time, I guess it is better to make it one at a time.

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Shame on Me

When I got pregnant with my eldest daughter, there were only two persons I came to confide with and they are my BFF Claire and my best friend in college Janeth. It was really so hard for me, knowing the person whom I thought was my knight in shining armor turns his back on me. At first, I really could not accept it, I feel like I really don’t deserve such thing, I mean I never hurt anyone to deserve such treatment. One night, as I could not bear it any longer, I ran away, I left a letter to my sisters telling them, I was sorry. I went to my BFF’s house; her family whispered a little prayer for me since I feel like I was really shattered at that time. In the morning, they talked to me too intently; they showed me things and told me that the baby inside my womb is a blessing. Shame on him, because he just let the opportunity passed away from him, shame on him because he just denied a very precious gift from GOD, shame on him because he just lost me.

From then on, I slowly fixed myself, I know I can make it and I know I have no choice but to be strong. My friend even kid me that oh well, this is my first time and if I would do it the second time, I could still say shame on them but if I ever do it the third time, that would never be an accident at all, and that she would say “Shame on Me” anymore I guess that words were always taunting on my mind because I have straightened my life, I took the right path with my kid, and look at me I have a family of my own. My husband never set my eldest daughter aside, he treats her like his own and thank GOD because he never left me when I was confused, shattered and lost.